Wednesday, April 3, 2013

He Was the Perfect Seduction...And Now the Last Good-bye


A little video audio for the way I feel right now;
http://vimeo.com/49881094



He was the perfect Seduction.

And now we have said our last good-bye’s .

My heart still doesn’t understand why. In my heart we were the perfect match, perfect lovers; he was the perfect amount of crazy to my fairy wonderland fantasy life. He understood where I dwelled and annunciated My intellect.

He always dressed in black, but not in a gothic way, always in the perfect European stylish way. Occasionally he would throw in a light grey t-shirt. He always had his jewelry; a few wrist pieces, rings, a few necklaces. This always pleased my inner aestheticism. And his smell….FUCK HIS SMELL. I could just smell that smell and fall back in love with him. His stance, always confident and cocky, his words elevated and silly, expressing creative concepts beyond normal reality. We liked the same music, played on the same edges of reality. Fuck we could even hang at burningman together. But he didn’t want me. Not in the way that I wanted him. My heart-break just continued on with each communication that he couldn’t live out. His integrity is shit. He could make solid plans with everyone except me…I was always the maybe mark on his calendar.

So we said our last good-bye. It’s really over this time. I know it’s for the best, but my heart doesn’t understand why he can’t just pick me up in his black range rover, we can blast some beats and we can just ride into the sunset laughing our asses off together. I feel like he threw away love. I feel like he didn’t honor, value or cherish it. I feel like this beautiful and rare opportunity to be in this loving joy was just flushed down the toilet. And for a lover (beyond everything that’s what I am) I still don’t understand. 

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