A little video
audio for the way I feel right now;
http://vimeo.com/49881094
He was the perfect
Seduction.
And now we have
said our last good-bye’s .
My heart still
doesn’t understand why. In my heart we were the perfect match, perfect lovers;
he was the perfect amount of crazy to my fairy wonderland fantasy life. He
understood where I dwelled and annunciated My intellect.
He always dressed
in black, but not in a gothic way, always in the perfect European stylish way. Occasionally
he would throw in a light grey t-shirt. He always had his jewelry; a few wrist
pieces, rings, a few necklaces. This always pleased my inner aestheticism. And
his smell….FUCK HIS SMELL. I could just smell that smell and fall back in love
with him. His stance, always confident and cocky, his words elevated and silly,
expressing creative concepts beyond normal reality. We liked the same music,
played on the same edges of reality. Fuck we could even hang at burningman
together. But he didn’t want me. Not in the way that I wanted him. My heart-break
just continued on with each communication that he couldn’t live out. His integrity
is shit. He could make solid plans with everyone except me…I was always the
maybe mark on his calendar.
So we said our last
good-bye. It’s really over this time. I know it’s for the best, but my heart doesn’t
understand why he can’t just pick me up in his black range rover, we can blast
some beats and we can just ride into the sunset laughing our asses off
together. I feel like he threw away love. I feel like he didn’t honor, value or
cherish it. I feel like this beautiful and rare opportunity to be in this
loving joy was just flushed down the toilet. And for a lover (beyond everything
that’s what I am) I still don’t understand.
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